As Charles Spurgeon, the great prince-of-preachers in London in the 1800’s once said, “Tears are briny rivulets of liquid prayer that point us to God’s Throne of Grace and Mercy.” And, you know, I’m finding out firsthand that he was right and that my heartache, which can’t be captured by words, is also a part of the Holy Spirit’s “praying for us with groanings that cannot be put into words”
(Romans 8:26).
Without a doubt the hardest thing I’ve faced so far since my dear wife’s Home-going on January 8 has been coming home to an empty house. No one to meet me at the door. No one to give me a hug or kiss (and vice versa). No one with whom to share a meal.
And, that sense of “aloneness” is greatest at bedtime as I turn out the lights. I’m certainly not afraid of the dark; but, there’s something pervading and “heavy” about the darkness that reminds me that she’s gone. I know she’s in Heaven and that comforts me; but I still miss her and long for her tender embrace, sweet smile and simple conversation.
The other night as I was preparing for bed, I looked around the house at all the knick-knacks that are everywhere. There are candles. Ceramic angels. Pictures and wall hangings. And, every one of them seemed to be crying “She’s gone! She’s gone!”
Needless to say, my heart grew heavier and tears began flowing down my cheeks.
But, then the Heavenly Father said “Well, you know, you can lie here, looking at those and feeling that way until Jesus comes.
Or, you can look at them differently and remember why you bought them on your trips to let her know you were thinking of her, how you missed and loved her and the great joy she had when you gave them to her on your return.”
Talking about a wake-up call! Wow!
But, it’s exactly what I needed to snap out of that mindset and regain my focus upon the Lord and the fact that my dear, precious wife of 38 years is now basking in His Presence. And, since that night I can honestly say the Holy Spirit has helped me wear “the garment of praise” instead of the “mantle of heaviness” (Isaiah 61:3) with regards to the things around the house.
Another thing I’m realizing (anew and in a deeper way) is that Death is no respecter of persons. He comes for the rich and the poor, the educated and the uneducated, the famous and the unknown, etc. And, he comes at a time of his own choosing.
That’s why we must be ready to meet him unless we allow him to accomplish his three-fold mission of “stealing, killing and destroying” (John 10:10a).
There was no way of knowing that my wife would be gone when I returned home again on Sunday morning, January 8. She was perfectly fine that morning at 6:40 when I hugged her neck, gave her a kiss and told her I loved her. She had no history of heart problems.
But, by 10:00 that morning she was gone. No one home in her earthly house of clay when it hit the floor. Truly, “in the twinkling of an eye” (I Corinthians 15:52) she was whisked away into Heaven—no time for a final hug, goodbye, words of “I love you,” etc.
That’s why it’s so important that we be ready when this great Enemy comes knocking at our heart’s door. Though we like to imagine that we’ll have time to get our affairs in order and even anticipate time for “deathbed confessions,” the fact remains that none of us know the time of our departure. And, after we breathe our last breath here on this earth, there’ll not be any other opportunities to make things right with God or others. That’s why you need to have Jesus, Who conquered death and the grave, living in your heart. Only He can make us right with God.
Likewise, as Jesus said to Judas, “What you must do, do quickly” (Jn. 13:27). Any unfinished business you’ve got to do—particularly in regards to your relationship to others—needs to be done now. As the song of years ago says, “Tomorrow never comes.”
How thankful I am that I don’t have to “weep as those who have no hope” (I Thessalonians 4:13). I know where my dear wife is and she’s having the time of her life with her dear Savior and all those loved ones and friends who’ve gone before.
The question is, “Do you have that same Hope and Assurance, dear Reader?” If so, rejoice; if not, don’t rest until you do—for, as someone once said, “Eternity’s too long to be wrong.”
Thank you all again for your continued prayers and many expressions of love for my family and me. By God’s Grace we’ll emerge in good shape from this “valley of the shadow of Death,” primarily because of the One Who walks with us through it. God bless you.
January 25, 2012
