Without a doubt, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced.
I’ve read books and written papers on death-and-dying. I’ve led classes on grief recovery. I’ve stood at the graves of more people than I can count. I know numerous Scripture Promises to aid the bereaved.
But, none of those can prepare you for such a time as this, when a gaping hole’s been torn in your heart by the cruel fingers of Death. As someone once said, “When it comes to death-and-dying, we’re all amateurs.”
As I shared last week, the sudden death of my dear wife of 38 years left us all in shock. And, I know the hardest part of this whole ordeal is yet to come—which is going home each night to an empty house. . .having no one to talk with. . .no one to embrace and to tell that you love them. . .and hear them say the same to you as they embrace you.
Cognitively, I know that it takes time to get over something like this; yet, in some ways (as others who’ve traveled a similar road have told me) you never get over it. Someone likened it to a person who had to have a leg amputated. You heal and learn to move on, even though you now walk with a limp.
So, yes, I know there are brighter days ahead. I know life, like an ever-flowing river, moves forward and we must go with it; otherwise, we’ll either drown or grow weary hanging onto the past, which can never be reclaimed or relived.
Through this all I’ve yet to question God, asking “Why, Lord? Why’d You take her away from me?”
And, I’m not planning on doing that anytime soon—for I know that death is just a part of life in this fallen world of ours. I know “It’s appointed unto man once to die and after this the Judgment” (Hebrews 9:27) and something that happens to us all (Ecclesiastes 3:2a; Romans 3:23; 6:23a).
I also know the devil delights in death and, in a way I can’t understand, even has a role in it (e.g., God’s telling him he could do anything but take Job’s life—Job 2:6).
But, I also know Jesus’ coming to this earth wasn’t just to bring us forgiveness and eternal life through His Death and Resurrection; He also came to “destroy him who had the power of death, i.e., the devil” (Heb. 2:14b). And, one of these days Death, that “last, great Enemy will be destroyed by the One with nail-scars in His Hands” (I Corinthians 15:25-26).
Oh, what a Day that will be!
The Day of “The Great No Mores” (Revelations 21:4). Hallelujah!!
I’ve experienced death up-close-and-personal through the years. I still remember weeping when my first puppy got run over on the highway and how I dug his grave, put his lifeless body in a box, buried him and made a makeshift cross for the grave.
I still remember my grandmother dying when I was five-years-old and standing at her coffin in the family living room after I woke up the next morning and wondering why she wouldn’t talk to me. And, I still remember losing both of my parents in less than four years.
But none of those could compare to this death experience.
A huge part of me is gone. In some ways, life will never be the same again. But, in some ways I believe it’ll be richer and more meaningful.
Why is that?
Simply because the Heavenly Father has now taken me to a deeper level of trusting Him and resting in His sufficient Grace. He knows I’m weak; weaker than I’ve ever been. But, I also know that it’s “in my weakness that His Strength is perfected with me. And, it’s in my weakness that His Resurrection Power rests upon me” (II Cor. 12:9-10).
So, in the coming days I’m going to try and take it one step at a time. . .not rushing ahead or hanging onto things in the past. . .but simply resting in Christ and His Love for me. I know He’s going to use all of this for my good and His Glory—for He’s promised He would (Rom. 8:28).
Here’s praying you’ll also rest in Him, particularly if you’re going through a difficult time right now (Matthew 11:28-30). He loves you very much and in Him you’ll find everything you need—and more. God bless you.
January 18, 2012
